137
137
Sep 5, 2012
09/12
by
WJLA
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eye 137
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a lot of times here in the united states, we call the police and authorities to come take -- this guy, instead, decided to punch him in the face eight times and another guy, hey, let me get in on that. and i'll punch him a few times, too. and then just to make sure, a little bit more punching, and in the stomach, and that's -- that's how they play punch buggy in russia. [ applause ] today was a day of much rejoicing for parents. today is the day which most american kids went back to school. and i hated the first day of school. i really did. i tell kids now, i know it's scary, i know it's a lot of fun. try to think of it not in terms of homework or mean teachers, think of it as an opportunity which you can pose with people for facebook pictures. there are fewer bullies to take your lunch money than when we were kids. which i think is why our kids are so fat. they're eating too much lunch. i thought this was interesting. i don't know if this was a sign of the times or what, apparently, kids are delaying their back-to-school clothes shopping to see what the other kids are wearing. how do
a lot of times here in the united states, we call the police and authorities to come take -- this guy, instead, decided to punch him in the face eight times and another guy, hey, let me get in on that. and i'll punch him a few times, too. and then just to make sure, a little bit more punching, and in the stomach, and that's -- that's how they play punch buggy in russia. [ applause ] today was a day of much rejoicing for parents. today is the day which most american kids went back to school. and...
65
65
Sep 21, 2012
09/12
by
KGO
tv
eye 65
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american researchers created a robot that's smart enough to be president of the united states. and that's him. [ applause ] see, because he lacks expression. yeah. we have some very special guests on the show tonight. their names are simon cowell and britney spears. their show, "the x factor," premiered tonight on fox. i have a lot to ask about. there's rumors simon will hire khloe kardashian to be the coast of the show. i'm going to -- no, that's not happening. not on my watch. i don't wear a watch, but it's not happening on it if i did. we're going to play the newly wed game with simon and britney to see how much they know about each other, so, stay up a little bit late for that. are you familiar with the restaurant mcdonald's? the big m? they've announced starting next week they'll post calorie counts for all their menu items on the menu. i don't know if that's -- i feel like most people will see those numbers and think it's some kind of a contest for whoever eats the most calories wins a nine-piece mcnuggets or something like that? mcdonald's says they are doing it so custo
american researchers created a robot that's smart enough to be president of the united states. and that's him. [ applause ] see, because he lacks expression. yeah. we have some very special guests on the show tonight. their names are simon cowell and britney spears. their show, "the x factor," premiered tonight on fox. i have a lot to ask about. there's rumors simon will hire khloe kardashian to be the coast of the show. i'm going to -- no, that's not happening. not on my watch. i...
82
82
Sep 22, 2012
09/12
by
KGO
tv
eye 82
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. >> jimmy: you're one of the richest men in the united states. >> yes, i am one of the wealthiest men. >> jimmy: one of the savviest businessmen ever. >> exactly. >> jimmy: for those who don't know -- >> filthy rich, by the way, ladies. >>jimmy: this man, in the most brilliant move ever, did a commercial for supercuts despite the fact that he's completely bald. [ applause ] >> unprecedented. exactly. you're right. >> jimmy: how are things going without me. do you miss me at all? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't, really? >> we can't afford you. you're big now. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> you got a lot of money. how much are they paying you? really, tell me. >> jimmy: you want to know in money or bales of hay? >> bales of hey, that's pretty expensive alfalfa. >> jimmy: hey, last time you were here you had a program called "pigs for jesus" going on. >> got in a lot of trouble for that. >> jimmy: you did. and -- >> don't laugh. >> jimmy: people thought you were joking. it was not a joke. >> dead serious. let me tell you what it was, folks. pigs for jesus, i'm baptist. everybody is baptist where i
. >> jimmy: you're one of the richest men in the united states. >> yes, i am one of the wealthiest men. >> jimmy: one of the savviest businessmen ever. >> exactly. >> jimmy: for those who don't know -- >> filthy rich, by the way, ladies. >>jimmy: this man, in the most brilliant move ever, did a commercial for supercuts despite the fact that he's completely bald. [ applause ] >> unprecedented. exactly. you're right. >> jimmy: how are things...
116
116
Sep 26, 2012
09/12
by
WMAR
tv
eye 116
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states. i have the feeling that the reporters were going through and got caught up in my tv show and got con us fooed with the reality tv show. >> the president on that show loo looks nothing like our show. >> the president on our show is white and republican and all of that. and they do get hot and heavy -- >> jimmy: is there a problem with you and michelle obama? >> no i'm on a committee -- >> jimmy: that's how i would do it if i was here. keep your enemies close. i would keep you close. put you on committees. >> i can't stay out of the white house if i'm meeting at the white house. >> jimmy: there would be a lot of checks and balances. scarlett johansson was number two on that list. she is up to something. isn't she? >> the first couple is so in love. >> jimmy: why would the "enquirer" print it if it wasn't true. >> sure, sure. that's where i get our news. >> jimmy: so i'm going to be on your show. >> he's going to be on our show. >> jimmy: it was a role i was literally born to play -- >>
states. i have the feeling that the reporters were going through and got caught up in my tv show and got con us fooed with the reality tv show. >> the president on that show loo looks nothing like our show. >> the president on our show is white and republican and all of that. and they do get hot and heavy -- >> jimmy: is there a problem with you and michelle obama? >> no i'm on a committee -- >> jimmy: that's how i would do it if i was here. keep your enemies...
84
84
Sep 6, 2012
09/12
by
WJLA
tv
eye 84
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states. >> i want barack obama to be the next president of the united states. and i proudly nominate him to be the standard-bearer of the democratic party. >> reporter: clinton held the delegates spell bound with that rare gift of his, speechmaking that is explanatory, down to earth and partisan. >> since 1961, our private economy has produced 66 million private sector jobs. so, what's the job score? republicans, 24 million. democrats, 42. >> reporter: praising what he sees as obama's willingness to work with opponents, clinton demonstrated that touch that seems lost in these times. >> president obama appointed several members of his cabinet even though they supported hillary in the primary. heck, he even appointed hillary. >> reporter: he made that argument regarding his own stewardship of the 1990s when there was growth, balanced budget to make the case for barack obama. >> president obama started with a much weaker economy than i did. listen to me now, no president, no president, not me, not any of my predecessors, no one could have fully repaired all the da
states. >> i want barack obama to be the next president of the united states. and i proudly nominate him to be the standard-bearer of the democratic party. >> reporter: clinton held the delegates spell bound with that rare gift of his, speechmaking that is explanatory, down to earth and partisan. >> since 1961, our private economy has produced 66 million private sector jobs. so, what's the job score? republicans, 24 million. democrats, 42. >> reporter: praising what he...
40
40
Sep 14, 2012
09/12
by
WJLA
tv
eye 40
favorite 0
quote 0
. >> jimmy: you're one of the richest men in the united states. >> yes, i am one of the weal wealthiest men. >> jimmy: one of the savviest businessmen ever. this man is the most brilliant move ever, did a commercial for supercuts despite the fact that he's completely bald! [ applause ] >> unprecedented. you're right. >> jimmy: how are things going without me. do you miss me at all? >> no. we can't afford you. you're big now. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> you got a lot of money. how much are they paying you? seriously, tell me. >> jimmy: you want to know in money of bales of hay? hey, the last time you were here, you had a prom cagram cal "pigs for jesus" going on. >> got in a lot of trouble for that. >> jimmy: you were not -- it was not a joke. >> dead serious. let me tell you what it was, folks. everybody is baptist where i'm from in the south. except those who haven't been messed with. even the ig pigs. i wanted to start a foundation and i have a big ranch down in oklahoma, and i sectioned off a part of it for pigs and what i would do is buy pigs and then i would fatten them up and, don't
. >> jimmy: you're one of the richest men in the united states. >> yes, i am one of the weal wealthiest men. >> jimmy: one of the savviest businessmen ever. this man is the most brilliant move ever, did a commercial for supercuts despite the fact that he's completely bald! [ applause ] >> unprecedented. you're right. >> jimmy: how are things going without me. do you miss me at all? >> no. we can't afford you. you're big now. >> jimmy: yeah, right....
129
129
Sep 19, 2012
09/12
by
WJLA
tv
eye 129
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i solemnly swear i will support the constitution of the united states. i went from being the terminator to being the governator. this story, you know. are you ready for the story? you don't know? wow. wow what a title! it was a long jrney, i know, but i hope it was worth it. big news out of chicago. after a long week and a half for parents. chicago teachers today voted to end their strike. which means almost 400,000 students are heading back to class tomorrow. that's good news. the teachers didn't get everything they wanted - but they did get more money - and prevented the school district from increasing class size they claim that some classes have 45 kids in them. which is -- no teachers should be responsible for more children at one time than the octomom. neat my opinion. so, good news for teachers, good news for parents - and the worst news ever for kids. and one more thing. on sunday night, i am hosting the 64th annual primetime emmy awards here on abc. and in anticipation of the emmys, i thought it would be fun to play a game with our celebrity-obse
i solemnly swear i will support the constitution of the united states. i went from being the terminator to being the governator. this story, you know. are you ready for the story? you don't know? wow. wow what a title! it was a long jrney, i know, but i hope it was worth it. big news out of chicago. after a long week and a half for parents. chicago teachers today voted to end their strike. which means almost 400,000 students are heading back to class tomorrow. that's good news. the teachers...
63
63
Sep 13, 2012
09/12
by
WJLA
tv
eye 63
favorite 0
quote 0
american researchers created a robot smart enough to be president of the united states. that's him. see, because he lacks expression. yeah. we have some very special guests on the show tonight their names are simon cowell and britney spears. "the x factor" premiered tonight on fox. there's rumors simon will hire khloe kardashian to be the coast of the show. that's not happening not on my watch. i don't wear a watch. but it's not happening if i did. and we'll play the newlywed game with simon and britney to she how much they know about each other. >>> are you familiar with the restaurant mcdone old's they've announced starting next week they'll post calorie counts for all their menu items on the menu. i feel people see those numbers and think it's a contest for whoever eats the most calories wins nine-piece mcnuggets or something like that. mcdonalds say they're doing it so customers can make health conscious decisions when they eat. they are eating mcdonald's. how health conscious could they be. the mayor of their town has a cheeseburger for a face. at that point. you throw health c
american researchers created a robot smart enough to be president of the united states. that's him. see, because he lacks expression. yeah. we have some very special guests on the show tonight their names are simon cowell and britney spears. "the x factor" premiered tonight on fox. there's rumors simon will hire khloe kardashian to be the coast of the show. that's not happening not on my watch. i don't wear a watch. but it's not happening if i did. and we'll play the newlywed game...